I have probably reached the happiest point on my mission. Is it still really hard and stressful? Oh yes, but I couldn't be more happy. Things are going great. I never realized what a difference it makes to have the support of the members, but seriously, our members are amazing here. I saw so many miracles this week so here we go.
Yesterday we had a huge concert with all the missionaries in Tahiti in our stake center with all of our stake and the amis (investigators). It was awesome. We have a really great program where we sing a bunch of hymns and there is a projection and missionaries bear testimony. Since I am from Faaa I was asked to give the closing prayer. I honestly was so so terrified because I knew I had to say it in Tahitian from the moment I was asked. Sometimes when the Americans speak Tahitian that really shocks people and touches especially the amis because they don't expect it. You immediately earn respect here if you speak it, and so here I was sitting and I knew I had to give a really good prayer in Tahitian to close the program and I was so so scared because I knew what an affect it could have if I did it correctly. I was praying so hard I wouldn't totally ruin everything. I gave the prayer in Tahitian and I am not really sure what happened during it but all I know is I was able to say things smoothly and correctly and just like a Tahitian with sincerity. The thing you have to understand is that here people give their Tahitian prayers about 100 mph and so if you want to sound like them you have to say it like that too. After I finished everybody got really noisy and freaked out because they didn't expect it. I can't tell you how many people asked me for my picture afterwards. It was so funny, but seriously it touches people so so much when you speak Tahitian here. I was just grateful I could be a tool in the hands of the Lord to share his spirit for people who prefer Tahiain over French.
Next thing this week. My sector is so so awesome. Yes it is very dirty and full of people drinking and smoking but there are so, so many people to teach. I love it and my companion is super optimistic and funny. I laugh so much every day because we do some really funny things, and because members and investigators here and just everyone in general have visions all the time and I find a lot of them funny.
This week we continued to teach Poema who is getting baptized in 2 weeks. She has now given up cigarettes for one week so she can be baptized. She is so amazing and so willing to sacrifice anything to be baptized. It makes me so happy to so the change in their family. Her husband was inactive but is now coming back to the church. We were doing a lesson about the plan of salvation and at the end he looked at us and asked with all sincerity if he could still make it back to live with God again. Even after leaving the church for a time. I told the story of the prodigal son and how when he came back the father accepted him with loving arms. He was so relieved to know that he was still on track to receive eternal life. I really love them so much.
Which leads me to my thought for today. I read a talk today that really changed my perspective of things especially the Atonement. This week I reevaluated my relationship with Jesus Christ. I realized that I have a lot of faith in Him and His mercy to make up the difference for our sins after all we can do.
I realized that I am not sure sometimes if I have the faith that He can save me from myself personally and my imperfections. For everyone in Tahiti I am positive this is the case, but it is just so hard for me sometimes to see myself and my potential when I am constantly faced with all of my errors and weaknesses. I don't always follow the spirit and sometimes I make stupid mistakes that could have prevented me from helping this work move forth. And the thing is I think a lot of us think this way. We are constantly missing the blessings of the fortifying and enabling power of the Atonement because we don't think we are worthy. We just don't measure up, and how sad is that. All that He asks us is our best. I loved an example I heard this week. Sometimes we just wait and wait and keep striving for perfection but it is never going to happen. It is not like sick people wait to get better so that they can be able to take the medicine, and it is just like that for the Atonement.
I am so grateful for my mission because I have grown so much more close to my Savior and in doing so I have so much more love for myself. I know I am good enough, because He thinks I am good enough. I don't know how many times I have struggled with hating myself in my life because I thought I haven't reached the bar or the level of goodness that I thought I should have reached, and now I realize that was never the point. I still have all of my weaknesses and faults but it is ok, because I know He is willing to work with me to fix all of those things. Little by little. Oh, how He is merciful. If there is anything we should learn in life it is how to use the Atonement in our lives. Every day. I love the Lord and I know this is His church and kingdom.
I couldn't be more humbled to be His servant.
Love Soeur Kimball